More Men Should Embrace Sex Toys
It will probably come as no surprise to most who have gotten to know me through my work here on Medium that I am a huge supporter of using sex toys. I have never felt some of the shame or ego issues that many men seem to experience when incorporating sex toys with a partner.
According to Indiana University researchers, 44.8% of men aged 18–60 have used a vibrator during a sexual encounter “with no statistical differences between the rates of vibrator use between men who identified as heterosexual and those who identified as gay or bisexual.”
The article mentions that this number indicates vibrator use as being common. I happen to disagree, especially when you break down the numbers of how often they are using them.
“Of men who have used vibrators, 10 percent had done so in the past month, 14.2 percent in the past year and 20.5 percent more than one year ago.”
I just can’t accept the idea that only 10% of the 44.8% having used a sex toy in the past month is considered “common” usage among men. As Matthew McConaughey’s character, Mark Hanna, said in the movie The Wolf of Wall Street:
I didn’t have much experience with sex toys until I went to college. I specifically remember going to my first sex toy shop with my girlfriend. I walked in and was mesmerized by all of the different options in a plethora of shapes, sizes, colors, and functionality.
To be honest, I was a bit intimidated and overwhelmed by all of the choices. But the atmosphere was fun, and we took our time browsing about. We ended up selecting one of the famous Rabbit toys and a small vibrating butt plug.
After we brought them home and tried them out, I was sold. You mean to tell me there is a way to make sex even more fun and enjoyable? My girlfriend at the time was multiorgasmic and could do so from PIV sex alone. Adding in vibrations set all of that fun time we were having through the roof.
I realized we could do fun things like have her give me a blowjob while orgasming from riding her dildo. It made me feel powerful to have my woman moaning in orgasmic ecstasy while her lips were wrapped around me. Once again, sold.
In my marriage, we have always had multiple toys near at hand. Unlike my college girlfriend, my wife needs clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This matters not in the least to me as she is still able to come and come often. But not all women are so lucky. The orgasm gap is a real problem.
The Archives of Sexual Behavior published a study that assessed the sex lives of over 52,500 adult Americans. They found that the group most likely to always orgasm during sex were heterosexual men. 95% said they usually or always climax. 65% of heterosexual women said they usually or always orgasm, the lowest of all demographics studied.
If only there were something that these heterosexual men could be doing to help these heterosexual women close that orgasm gap…
With all that being said, do my wife and I need toys for her to have multiple orgasms? No. If I’m not rubbing her clit, my wife can stimulate herself during sex and reach orgasm reasonably easily.
But, do we want toys in our bedroom? Yes! They are fun and can really add quite a lot of variety and sensations. And going back to that IU research,
“Men who had used vibrators recently also scored themselves higher on four of the five domains of sexual function, as measured by the International Index of Erectile Function (erectile function, intercourse satisfaction, orgasmic function and sexual desire).”
So, when a representative from sohimi.com contacted me about trying one of their sex toys, I was pretty excited about the opportunity, as was my wife. We had a lot of fun browsing their website and selecting a toy that we would want to add to our collection.
I did struggle with the final decision. I was really tempted to try one of the higher-end male masturbaters. But in the end, I chose something that I thought both Mrs. Riley and myself could enjoy. I went with what you see pictured at the top of this article, the Vibrating Penis Ring for Couples.
It arrived in a matter of days and came in a very discreet box. I immediately opened the boxing to check it out. And to charge it for later on. I was pretty impressed with the texture and flexibility of the toy. The material had a highly soft, silky texture. In fact, it was one of the softer sensations I’ve ever felt on a sex toy.
I’ve used vibrators on penis rings before but never with a double ring on it. I was interested to see how that would work. While the material was soft and flexible, I know that Mrs. Riley is very sensitive to certain materials and textures when it comes to insertion. I shelved some of those worries until later and used the magnetic charger to prepare it for its maiden voyage.
We used the toy twice, just to make sure we were getting the whole experience. In terms of the fit on myself, it worked, but with the ring and vibrator near the base of my penis, I wondered if it would have worked without the second ring near the head of my penis. After thrusting for a while, I found that there was some slight irritation near the head of my penis. Nothing too bad or lasting, but it was noticeable after some time.
In terms of vibration, this toy has 12 different vibration modes that can be easily switched by a circular handheld wireless remote control. Mrs. Riley had fun playing with the mode options. She definitely put on a show for me while riding me and trying out all the different vibration types. According to her:
“The vibrations were pretty strong, especially for how quiet it was. I probably could have orgasmed from the toy alone, but the toy’s placement sat a little higher than I would have wanted for my clit and body. I would like to try it again and maybe cut off that sleeve and second ring to see if that might help.”
Overall, I would give the toy 4 out of 5 stars. I think the quality of the material combined with the silence of the vibration is what really sets this particular toy apart.
Thanks again to Zoe at Sohimi and sohimi.com for reaching out and giving me the opportunity.