While I hesitantly consider myself a sex writer, I more readily identify as a sex reader. I read many more words and articles than I produce. With this large swath of writing that I am consuming, I hear more and more about the orgasm gap that exists between men and women. Of course, the divide’s size depends on the kind of sex you are having and your familiarity with your partner. Still, it all points to the fact that women consistently have fewer orgasms than men.
I have recently realized that if someone were to read my Medium profile and portfolio, they might notice that my writing centers around sex by a wide margin. I’d go as far as saying that 80%+ of my articles focus on the topic. Much of my other items deal with parenting.
This makes sense to me. I found Medium because of my desire to interact with other human beings around the topics of sex, love, and passion. It helps fill a role that is missing from my “normal” everyday life. Therefore, I tend to box myself in a bit here.
Sometimes I like to retreat and hide from the world and reality. I will immerse myself in activities and fade away from everything else. Solitary distractions.
Sometimes I like to be chased. I often do so much of the chasing and initiating that I’ll fantasize of someone wanting me so badly that they come looking for me in the veil I have pulled around myself. Searching for my love, intimacy, voice. It’s the longing that allows you to find me.
Lover, come find me. I am in the deep inhale of breath, held in my lungs as I stretch. I…
Waking up, I look for today's motivation
Something to look forward to, some inspiration
Many anticipate that first sip of coffee
The smell of it works but its not #1 for me
Sometimes I’ll wake up and check the weather and temperature
Looking and planning on the best way to get out into nature
Others find happiness in planning the day around their children
There is no rhyme here, I just think they’re lying liars
But, the thing that motivates me, like a true hedonistic addict
Is the promise of sex with my wife and the pleasure we can inflict
We are cuddling in the post-sex haze, bodies dewy with sweat and pleasure. Our sex is a continually evolving workshop in emotional, spiritual, and physical intimacy. Raw and primal would be accurate descriptors.
When our guards are still down in the moments after, but we have emerged from a shared higher consciousness, there is a different vulnerability. I always try to ease that transition by holding, kissing, massaging, and caressing my wife as she drifts off to sleep.
I try to cocoon her in loving energy.
This night, she emerges from her cocoon. A rare appearance from my beautiful Luna…
I’ve already put my mouth on your Royalty.
You on your back and me on my stomach, I have laid inside the comforting embrace of your thighs.
I have become your most trusted advisor. I whisper all the things you need, my lips to yours.
I taste your royal dish. It is safe to proceed, my Queen. It is delicious on my tongue.
It is okay if it makes a mess. It is encouraged. Eating this dish is sensual. Never mind any that spills. That is what I am here for. I catch it and clean up after you. …
Changing the frequency of thought: easier thought than done
Let’s be honest. Even the most positive, optimistic people among us have days or moments when our thoughts skew negatively.
Perhaps it happens when we are tired from staying up until 2 A.M. reading our latest book. Maybe negative thoughts sneak in when we feel hangry, and our blood sugar is out of whack. It could be that you have been hurt by something that someone said, and it turned your thoughts into a concert of criticism.
Whatever the reason, negative thoughts, emotions, and self-talk can infiltrate our internal monologue. It…
We can eat each other with our mouth, tongue, our hands
Bite, lick, and swallow every single juicy drop
Your particular fruit thrives in fertile wetlands
Climb my treetop and harvest me, I never want to stop
You can sample my banana but first peel back the layers
The most delicious things need a modicum of protection
If we just take the time to get past some of the barriers
We will see that we are Grade A, passing the inspection
Let us take a peek inside of each other’s minds
Lifting the lid on an individuals picnic basket
I love the…
In the summer of 2019, I started a process of healing from childhood trauma that I carried with me subconsciously. I legitimately didn’t know that I needed to heal from those events until I started watching episodes of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood with my children. I had all but shoved specific memories aside until I watched Mr. Rogers again as an adult. It reminded me how much I benefited from his style of interaction and reassurance for children when I was a scared, lonely child myself. I’ve written about it at length here:
It is an odd thing to simultaneously have…
Taking care of myself has to be a priority
I’m a stay at home dad to three demanding children
Taking personal time helps maintain my sanity
Though I used to think it made me selfish, a villain
So what do I do when I need to unwind and destress?
Most of my needs and desires aren’t too complex
Just put me in nature, though, I do confess
That my biggest destresser involves passionate sex
I write about that enough so no details will be found here
We’ll concentrate on my love for the great outdoors
I desire to cut into a trail…